🇬🇧 Personal space and the freedom of the unknown

This is a text about personal space and the freedom of the unknown.

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist, and in this blog I write about my art, themes that inspire me and that contribute to my personal and professional development.

Today I will talk about something I discovered during the pandemic: personal space. But this is just to start the discussion, which will talk about good things that we still don't know about.

I am Brazilian, and in most of Brazil people have no idea what personal space is - it's no wonder so many people died during the pandemic! Even with all the media coverage to maintain distance from other people, it was extremely common for people to disrespect these limits.

I remember seeing memes about the Finnish reaction to the distancing requirements and I started wanting to move to Finland, because that newly discovered benefit was very appealing. I started to hate people sticking to me, as if they were ants trapped in a drop of honey that had spilled on the table. And I'm not even a sweetie!

We often get used to life in a certain way and are afraid of change. But some changes make our quality of life much better.

Maybe because I grew up in an environment that was anything but welcoming, I always liked to experiment, to try different foods, to travel to different places, to read everything that comes my way, to discover music from all over the world... And of course there are some things that I try and don't like. But when I discover new possibilities I can make choices, and making choices is better than following the crowd.

Art is about thinking, about making choices. It's not just about drawing, painting, sculpting something, or using another artistic technique. It's about using artistic techniques to make people reflect... and be able to make smarter choices.

When was the last time you allowed yourself to try something new?

Check out my work. On the “Buy art here” page you can see and purchase my currently available artworks. On the services page you can order artworks, photo shoots and other services. And on the “Maecenasship” page you or your company can offer other forms of financial support for my work.

Respect copyright. Reproduction of this text in whole or in part requires written permission from the author. Without this, such reproduction is prohibited.

Nycka Nunes

nycka@nyckanunes.art

🇬🇧 How BDSM helped me have a more meaningful love life and strengthen my self-esteem

This is a text about how BDSM helped me have a more meaningful love life and strengthen my self-esteem. The influences of this reference appear subtly in the artworks of the project “The Many Nuances of Love”, which is in the fundraising phase and you can contribute to its implementation. Find out how here. You don't need to understand or agree with my experiences to contribute, because I make art - and content - to generate reflection, not to define how others should live their lives. I know that my experiences and points of view are valid, and that, for some, they may mean something very different from the reality they know, generating reflections that contribute to their personal development.

Knowing what BDSM is is irrelevant to understanding the context of this post. If you are curious, follow my profiles on social networks and I can talk more about the subject at other times.

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist and in this blog I share my life experiences, reflections, travels, inspirations and other issues related to my artistic work.

1. BDSM was my first step towards learning about ethical non-monogamous relationships and finding relationship references that made sense to me. When we only know one option, we think we are living a choice, but in reality we live without choice. I never saw any sense in monogamous relationships, in leaving a person we love because we also love a second person. I have had this in mind since early adolescence and while I tried to be monogamous due to a lack of knowledge of other options and a lack of self-esteem to position myself and express my thoughts, my relationships did not last and were empty.
2. BDSM was also the first step towards me putting my pleasure first. Coming from a partially abusive family, and unfortunately living much more with the abusive part, this means a lot.
3. BDSM helped me have a more creative sex life. Until then, sex with men was something mechanical and boring because most of them use a porn-based script as a reference and do not consider the pleasure of the woman they are with. They just act as if we are all the same. I still didn't allow myself to experience things with women and I didn't have much knowledge about what gave me pleasure to guide them.
4. Once, when I was talking to a Domme, she mentioned that she wanted to wear leather clothes all the time. Being a stylist at the time, I didn't understand what was stopping her. Maybe the type of leather clothes she had in mind was different from what I knew was appropriate enough for her professional activity (which required formal attire, and there are formal leather clothes!). That conversation, combined with other things related to my healing process from family abuse, made me realize that I don't want to live in hiding, to be a Domme whose boyfriend pretends to be macho in public and becomes a puppy behind closed doors, or who has subs who only serve me in casual encounters. I don't even like the stereotype of a macho man. And I also don't like that kind of theater and I like real emotional involvement. A man who is submissive to his partner is not a man who is submissive to everything and everyone, he is a man who puts his partner's pleasure first and enjoys it.
5. I am not particularly attracted to crossdressing. I like men who have their feminine side well-resolved, who do not try to appear macho, nor are fixated on a stereotype of femininity. A man who is not afraid to be authentic, does not worry about “what will others think?” and does not stick to stereotypes, to a manual on “how to be a man” taught by parents with limited mentality. I see crossdressing and transsexuality as ways of stereotyping genders and this goes against any notion of authenticity (my work “Unyckeness” deals with this topic).
6. By expanding my repertoire through knowledge about ethical non-monogamous relationships and BDSM, I had clear examples to reinforce the belief that being the way I am is perfectly normal and acceptable, and that following the crowd without making it a real choice, just to fit in, is disrespectful to oneself.
7. Overcoming the feelings of not fitting in, I realized that love alone is not enough for a relationship to work. Other important elements are needed. And I started to evaluate these elements when I meet someone.

I believe that expanding one's repertoire in various areas of life is important for any human being to have a meaningful life, and not just the life of a robot who only knows how to follow the crowd without knowing where it will end up. And appreciating art has to do with appreciating critical thinking and the ability to expand one's repertoire and make conscious decisions.

Read the “Maecenasship” page to learn how to support my work. To purchase artwork that has already been created, read the “Buy art here” page. To order exclusive artwork, an artistic photoshoot, and other services, see the services page.

For those who think that talking about my romantic and sexual experiences is oversharing, I think that not talking about it is repressing yourself too much.

Respect the copyright. Reproduction of this text in whole or in part without written permission from the author, specifying types of permission for use and periods, is prohibited.

Nycka Nunes

nycka@nyckanunes.art

🇬🇧 Overprotective parents do not exist

Overprotective parents do not exist.

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist who works with photography, 2D digital painting and digital collage. In this blog, I talk about my artistic work, who I am, my lifestyle, what inspires me and what makes me reflect.

As emotionally immature people have a bad habit of taking everything personally, if you feel offended, seek out a psychologist to resolve your emotional discomfort instead of getting angry at me for having touched on a subject that you never dared to question. If I do not mention your first and last name below, this is not a text about you.

What some call overprotective parents is nothing more than a sugary name for parents who see their children as their property, as beings (anything but human) without any capacity to reason on their own. And they act this way because they have never had the capacity to reason on their own, they have never questioned their own parents' attitudes and simply repeat them.

When a parent prevents a child from making a decision that the child is capable of making, such as what to wear or what color they would like the walls of their bedroom to be, that parent is not thinking about the child's well-being. They are only thinking about themselves. They are repeating patterns imposed by their own parents, because they did not have the decency to seek professional help to deal with such limiting beliefs, and they are transferring them to their own children.

Having children before seeking professional help (at least a psychologist) to deal with their own limiting beliefs, their own traumas and other issues that may affect the child's education is an act of irresponsibility and negligence. It is common, but it is irresponsible and negligent. Following the herd is a sign of low intelligence.

People learn to make decisions by making decisions. If someone's son wants to go to school dressed as Rapunzel, and the father wants to forbid it because Rapunzel is a female character, and the father is bothered by the idea that this means his boy is gay or trans, the father is the problem. If the father is bothered by others bullying him, the father is the problem. It is his limited ability to deal with gender roles, understanding them as if they were something fixed, and his need to believe that there is only one right way for boys to dress that is the problem. If that were not the case, someone bullying his son would be something he would be able to deal with and support the child so that he can deal with the situation in a healthy way.

If a girl wants to sit with her legs open and feels comfortable doing so, instead of forbidding her, why don't the parents start dressing her in shorts and pants instead of filling her closet with dresses and forbidding the girl to sit in a way that is comfortable for her? Idiocy, inability to reflect and seek creative solutions, the need to cling to stupid labels without questioning them.

Art exists for those who seek to see things from other angles, for those who seek to exercise critical thinking, for those who dare to confront absolute truths. One of the important roles of art is to shake out those old rugs under which people try to hide issues that their inner child has been forbidden to question.

To purchase artwork created by me, visit the “Buy art here” page. You can also order artwork or an artistic photo essay on the services page and contribute financially to the realization of my artistic projects through patronage and sponsorship on the “Maecenasship” page.

This is an original text by Nycka Nunes. Please respect the copyright. If you are interested in reproducing it in whole or in part, please request written authorization from the author, specifying where it will be reproduced, the context, and other relevant information. Reproduction without authorization is prohibited.

Nycka Nunes

nycka@nyckanunes.art

🇬🇧 What am I really glad I learned before it was too late?

What am I really glad I learned before it was too late?

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist currently working with photography, 2D digital painting and digital collage, and in this blog I talk about my artistic work, what inspires me, what makes me reflect, about who I am and my lifestyle.

Something I was happy to realize in time to avoid mistakes that many people make is that love alone is not enough for any relationship, whether with family, friends or boyfriends/spouses. And not everything we think is love is.

If there is no respect, it is not worth it.

If there are significant incompatibilities, it is not worth it.

If one does not take care of the other, if one does not support the other and does not inspire the other to expand their horizons while feeling inspired by the other, it is not worth it.

If there is excessive control, it is not worth it.

Relationships are like team sports, such as synchronized swimming or pair figure skating. Each person has to do their part.

When a friend of mine was fighting breast cancer, I joined a group of women who were treating the disease to understand a little and be able to support her. In this group, some rejected me because I sometimes posted Buddhist encouragement in the same way that many posted Catholic/Christian encouragement, and they felt attacked instead of encouraged. And some others approached me and we created closer bonds. One of these women carried her family on her back before she got sick, she was the kind of woman who did everything at home, and when she got sick no one knew what to do. That had a big impact on me.

I've been working since I was 5 years old and I ended up being forced to believe that my value was in what I did because my maternal family never encouraged me to play, I only received demands, and in adulthood there came a point where this destroyed me and I had to rebuild myself.

After I moved from my hometown, I cultivated hobbies, like going to the movies, but some were more of a socially acceptable form of escapism. Reading, for a long time, was my drug... I read so I wouldn't have to talk to those unpleasant people on my mother's side of the family. I read because I didn't know what to do in a given situation and I had no one to talk to about it. I read non-stop because I felt lonely, even when I was surrounded by people, and books (and cats and dogs) always gave me good company.

When I met that woman, I started to rethink my belief about my worth, and although I like helping people, sharing experiences, etc., I don't want to be around anyone who only sees me as someone useful and when I need support or don't have money to have a coffee at the mall, I stop being an interesting friend and am left aside like an old toy. I ended up distancing myself from a lot of people because I saw that they saw me that way, not valuing me and even trying to belittle me, invalidating my feelings and my dreams. Unfortunately, both my friend and the lady who carried the family on her back passed away. And that reinforced my decision not to allow people with limited mindsets to affect my life.

I don't need to feel bad to see who truly supports me, but while everything is going well we can fool ourselves into thinking that everyone loves us, and that's not always true, as Leoni used to say in that brazilian song from when I was a teenager...

I have a friend from college who, even though I got first place in the entrance exam, encouraged me to study English. I've always liked foreign languages. My family was too repressive for me to have the courage to ask, because they never accepted anything that was important to me, but when he encouraged me, I asked and got it. This kind of friendship is important to me. We studied together frequently during college, until I dropped out to study advertising, and we keep in touch to this day. Those who support us encourage us to do things that we didn't have the courage to try, even though we wanted to. Things that will help us grow and broaden our horizons. Another friend, more recently, also encouraged me to let go of my work in fashion. He himself was in transition, wanting to leave the band where he was a guitarist, and today he is a photography assistant in the country where he lives, which I see as an incentive, because I also work with photography. Maybe I encouraged him, because when we started talking he was trying something else (singing), and when he posted some nature photos I was delighted. I really want to be able to work with him on some artistic projects in the future.

I like friends like that, who seek to grow, in the sense of expanding their horizons as human beings, and inspire me to grow too. Throughout my life, I have always been easy to make friends with everyone, and this experience of meeting that lady and going through difficulties after my maternal grandmother died, as a result of seeing that my entire maternal family saw me as an expense and not as a human being, as something that was only important if they could exploit me without giving me anything of value in return, ignoring everything that was important to me and overstepping my boundaries, made me rethink that, and today I am less cute, less friendly with people who have a victim mentality, controlling or anything that distances me from being who I am or vaguely reminds me of the toxic behavior of my relatives on my mother's side. I am more focused on those who want to grow and contribute to my growth.

If this text has in any way made you think, I would be very happy if you could contribute to the realization of my artistic projects, as a patron, sponsor, purchasing art that I have already created or hiring my services. Some of the works I have already created have love as one of the central themes and one of the projects currently open for financial contributions from individuals and companies has love as its central theme.

Please respect copyright. If you are interested in reproducing this text in whole or in part, please request specific written permission from the author.

Nycka Nunes

nycka@nyckanunes.art

🇬🇧 27 toxic references of love

Many things that some of us grew up believing to be love, because we saw examples of “love” in our family, in movies, on TV, in music, etc., are toxic, disrespectful behaviors that do not foster a healthy relationship. This is probably why the divorce rate is high and the number of people from the new generations who are not interested in getting married is also considerable. But no one needs to live as a slave to these limiting beliefs.

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist and in this blog I talk about art, what inspires me, what makes me reflect and who I am. I practice ethical polyamory, so when I talk about love, I am not limiting myself to the love of romantic relationships, I am talking about all types of love, because for me there is only one type of love, and what differentiates a friend from a boyfriend are other things, which include sexual attraction, but are not limited to it.

Below are 27 toxic references of love that may be preventing you from having an authentic and satisfying life.

1. Feelings of possession are not love. Many people raise their children as objects, usually seeking only to be obeyed and satisfied by their children, and so the children grow up thinking that treating others as objects is a sign of love. It is not.
2. Frequent fights are not signs of love. They are usually signs of incompatibility. Again, it is a false reference to love that may come from the way the person was raised by abusive parents. 
3. Avoiding disagreeing with the other is not a sign of love. It is a lack of self-love.
4. Excessive control of the other, of what they do, with whom, what they wear, etc. is not love. It is a feeling of possession.
5. Not knowing how to imagine your life without the other is not love. It is emotional dependence, low self-esteem, rejection trauma, among other possible causes.
6. Lack of privacy (such as wanting to know the other's passwords or sharing yours) is not love.
7. When the other distances you from your friendships or interferes in your friendships is not a sign of love. Wanting to distance the other from their friendships or interfere in their friendships is not either.
8. Keeping you from your hobbies is not love. Wanting to keep the other person away from their hobbies is also not love.
9. Wanting to define what is best for the other person is not love. It is a variation of the feeling of possession.
10. Thinking that you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy is a sign that you do not know what love is and do not have self-love.
11. Not offering support to your partner when you know that he/she is having problems is not love, it is neglect. The same goes for when the person having problems is a friend. You cannot consider yourself someone's friend if you are not capable of supporting them in times of difficulty. Wanting the person around only when they are well is a form of objectification.
12. Not talking about your problems to your partner is not love. Read the topic above and, if you have reasons not to tell them, you also have reasons not to be in a relationship with that person anymore.
13. Getting into a relationship with someone without having in mind what you want for the future, for the relationship, without evaluating whether that person fits your vision of the future, your compatibilities and incompatibilities, is not love. This applies to all types of relationships, including friendships.
14. Starting a relationship without a clear vision of your goals, expectations, limits, etc. is not love.
15. Neglecting yourself to please the other person is not love, even though a healthy relationship has room for each person to develop, change, grow, and adopt new habits. Knowing the limit between sacrificing yourself and seeking to expand your repertoire is essential.
16. Psychological abuse (swearing, humiliation, threats, etc.) is not love. In the context of consensual BDSM, this is valid. Outside of that, it is not.
17. Financial abuse (controlling the other person's finances and assets) is not love.
18. Physical violence or the use of physical force to control the other person or interfere in the other person's relationships is not love.
19. Negligence is not love.
20. Disrespecting the other person's boundaries is not love. Boundaries should be respected even when you do not love the other person. Disrespecting boundaries is a sign of a lack of character.
21. Playing emotional games is not love.
22. Saying no when you mean yes and vice versa is not love or a sign of interest. It is a sign of immaturity.
23. Having no boundaries is not love, it is immaturity, low self-esteem and desperation.
24. Caring about the age difference in a relationship between adults is not love. Age is not relevant in a relationship between adults. Age is not synonymous with emotional maturity. Emotional maturity requires effort. Age only requires watching time pass.
25. Thinking that whoever has more money in the relationship, even temporarily, owns the other person and has the right to control or humiliate them is not love.
26. Meddling in someone else's life to "help", without asking if the person wants that kind of help, is not love. This includes things like trying to force the person to get close to someone they hate, or trying to get the person a job without knowing if they want that kind of job, for example.
27. Putting a hierarchy on love is an outdated belief. Thinking that a boyfriend or girlfriend is more important than friends (or vice versa) is a mistaken view of love, from someone who has never experienced it and just follows what others say, without thinking.

Follow my profiles on social media for more content about art, personal development and other topics that inspire me.

I would be immensely happy if you purchase my artwork (see the "Buy art here" page) and/or if you can offer financial support for me to carry out new artistic projects (see the "Maecenasship" page). To order an exclusive artwork or photo shoot, see the services page.

Respect copyright. Reproduction of this text in whole or in part without specific written permission from the author is prohibited.

Nycka Nunes

nycka@nyckanunes.art

🇬🇧 Artwork: Anastasia

Today, there is a new work of art added to the list of available works. This text is to talk about it.

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist, and in this blog I talk about my work, my lifestyle and what inspires me.

The new work is called “Anastasia”. It is the image of a black woman created from pieces of photographs of textures, with an emphasis on fabric textures, like a 2D rag doll.

In this work, I return to the style that inspired me to start creating art, using collage of pieces of photography to build images, and using 2D digital painting to complement the work of art.

The initial inspiration came from the cook at Sítio do Pica Pau Amarelo in the works of Monteiro Lobato, an important Brazilian writer, and that also gave me the inspiration for the name of the work.

Next, I used references from my childhood drawings to create the face, highlighting the shape of the head and the eyes. When I was a child, I created a character called Marcela who had similar features. Years later, I discovered the character Betty Boop, and I noticed that Marcela was a child version of Betty Boop. I don't remember having contact with Betty Boop as a child.

The work talks about our inner universe, about the open mind that can be cut and sewn according to the future we want for ourselves, and for this reason it is based on emotional references from my childhood. The only part that is not a texture is the irises of the character's eyes, which are images of a night sky and a full moon. This part represents the character's dreams and goals, the starting point for every desired transformation.

The character's skin is leather. The dress is printed silk. The hairband is printed jersey. The sclera of the eyes is knitted. The mouth is made of twill lined with acrylic fabric and contrasting stitching.

The hair is made of steel wool, an allusion to how some people refer to the hair of black people in Brazil. The work is full of emotional references. The “bombril” hair reminds me of the hair of my paternal grandmother’s cook, certainly one of the best cooks I have ever met and an excellent human being. The kitchen as a reference is also a reference to love, as cooking well is an act of love.

The background is almost entirely leather, with small wooden details. The wood represents the more rigid parts that the mentality of people seeking personal development can have. All the other fabrics represent the flexibility of creative minds that are always open to growth.

All the photographs used in the work were taken by me.

I could create art with perfect and symmetrical lines, but human beings are neither perfect nor symmetrical and I do not want to create art that looks like art made by artificial intelligence. I really want to make art that looks like “I made it”.

See the “Buy art here” page to buy yours and the link to the image of the work. This work has a limited production of 25 units.

Respect the copyright.

Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 An interesting environment is impossible without art

An interesting environment is impossible without art.

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist, and in this blog I talk about my work as a visual artist and photographer, about my travels to photograph, and about things that inspire me.

A space without art is a space without personality. A space without personality, just like a person without personality, is uninteresting. It may be pretty, but never interesting.

You already know that, in addition to the works of art that I sell here on the blog and in selected galleries, I also create decoration projects, with a focus on art, for homes and businesses.

This text is a reminder for you to rethink the ordinary and charmless appearance of your home or business and hire me to make a significant change in these environments.

See the works of art available on the “Buy art here” page or order a project or an individual work of art on the services page. Please read the "Commitments" page before purchasing services.

Nycka Nunes

nycka@nyckanunes.art

🇬🇧 How to be a successful model

Do you want to be a model? Or do you have kids who want to be? I can help you on the path to becoming a successful model.

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist and photographer. I also work as a style consultant and have been in the fashion industry since 1981 and took a modeling course when I was 16 (I didn't want to be a model, I knew my hips were and are too wide for a standard model). So, all my expertise is the perfect way to reveal new models to the industry.

First of all, you need to know that models have a minimum height of 1.75m for women and 1.80m for men. If the person interested in being a model is shorter, I can do a photo shoot, but the most recommended path would be commercial modeling, not runway modeling. Commercial models have no height, age, weight, etc. restrictions.

I have already written about the reasons why runway models are usually tall and thin here. If you, like me, don't fit the standard model's measurements, nowadays there is the possibility of being a plus-size model. Contrary to what some say, not all plus-size models are fat. Plus-size is a term used for models who are larger than standard models. I have also talked about this in this other text.

An additional recommendation: The skin of model candidates should be smooth, so that makeup alone can hide any imperfections, dark circles, etc.

That said, model candidates can choose between my personal branding consultancy, where I can provide ongoing support to create opportunities for these people, including photo shoots and videos simulating fashion shows from time to time, or opt for isolated photo shoots.

I can suggest locations for high-impact photos, choose clothes for the photo shoot, and have hairdressers and makeup artists to help create the perfect images. I tend to include photos with more creative outfits, rather than just photos with regular clothes like jeans and a t-shirt. Clothes that someone would wear to a luxury or haute couture show are essential for anyone who wants to reach this level in their career. You don't have to worry about anything, just hire my work, respect the terms of service and commitments, and wait for the results.

Read the "Commitments" page and then go to the services page to hire the service that you think will offer you the most advantages to build a successful career. Services are available worldwide.

Nycka Nunes

nycka@nyckanunes.art